A day before November

It is a chilly night and I’m sitting in my favourite spot in the house which usually doesn’t have mobile signal. My bone marrow is aching let alone my whole body. Today I wanted to treat myself with couple of new outfits so I went shopping after work, all alone. Not only did I have time for myself but I had time to be in exclusion with myself.  My thoughts process and my surroundings where running parallel to each other and at some point I was engrossed in a complete thinking mode. I was revaluating my life.

Like any other person on this plant we have fears to overcome and I’m the type that once I fall in the trap of any fear it takes me forever to identify it, acknowledge it and solve it. It’s a vicious cycle. Anyway the too much thinking has made me feel over exhausted. I just want to pause the time have it pass by, by my own accord. Little do I know that my wish can’t be granted.

Tomorrow will be another day full of positivity inshallah and I’m counting my blessings today and grateful for yesterday – Alhmduallah! 

Clogged thoughts

I feel like my mind is absolutely clogged with so many thoughts that I almost feel like it’s about to explode sharps thoughts. I think I have neglected myself so much lately, I use to go for a long walk, just me, myself and I and I would detox my head and soul and come back home feeling refreshed. Something simple as sitting in a shopping mall, in a corner of a cafe and watching the time lapse by and people walk by use to be the most therapeutic treat I could offer myself. I sadly don’t have the luxury of spending quality time with myself anymore.

I no longer have weekends and I have my Mondays like my Sundays; it’s all work orientated and to be honest despite the lack of what I use to enjoy and do during my break time I still think every minute that goes into my current job is well worth it. It’s my source of drive and passion. So what I do now is that, I use my commute from home to work or work to meeting as precious moments where I can spend with myself.

Just yesterday, I was so grateful for having the most mind relaxing walk. The sky was drizzling cool rain and it was creasing my cheeks. I was wrapped up well, so I was really warm but the cool breeze on my face and the buzzing road with traffic and the shiny surface of the floor made me live this different feeling of contentment.

Regardless, I think is about time I have law and order in my life. At least I'm catching up with my social life and life is taking it's normal path. However, I sometimes think if I was married I would probably be back to my parent’s house by now. My husband would think that I’m as useless as the beautiful sofa at home lol – on a serious note, I don’t know how my parents are putting up with my fluctuating work hours and my lack of having ‘family’ quality time. Forget all that, my grandfather who I live with thinks that I have lost the plot. To be frank I feel extremely guilty for not giving my grandfather the quality time he needs, or the quality time I use to give him before. I mean what’s the point of living with him if I’m out the house three quarter of the day?

Two things are currently pressing on my conscious thoughts and making me feel ever so guilty. One, is that I feel like I’m not fulfilling the responsibility of being chosen to be the one who cares for grandfather’s needs, to keep him accompany, to live like normal people in the house with him. Every night when I walk into the door, it hits me. He must’ve been sitting in the house for the past 5 hours all alone. I’m glad that he keeps himself busy with reading books, socialising over the phone, going out to pray at the local mosque. However, if it wasn’t for my mother & father who check on him on a daily basis I think I would’ve passed out due to guilt.

Two, I feel like I have no time to concentrate on my deen. I don’t remember the last time I have been to an Islamic lecture. The last time I went to pray jummah at the mosque, the last time I read deen boosting books. It’s scary thoughts because time is passing by and I'm consumed with other matters (yes, working in the charity sector is good but not enough) that wont let me grow spiritually, mentally and psychologically. I can’t help but think that I will die soon & at a young age – with this constantly pressing thought I wonder what I have prepared for my hereafter?

I guess acknowledging my faults and flaws is technically solving half of the problem, I just hope my journey to solve the rest doesn’t come to an end with a punctured tier.   

A point of no return

I have never thought that I would find where my passion lies while I reside in this life. Many of us strive to love their jobs even if they dislike it. But it’s unnatural to do so; to force yourself is to suppress your zeal. From a young age I wanted to study something which I can benefit myself and my people with, for me both go hand in hand. From the age of 5  I always wanted to be a doctor, something which never happened and I’m glad that it didn’t happen either.

I was somehow forced to shape my mind and think a little outside the box. I didn’t want to study what everyone usually studies and I definitely didn’t want to be tagged with the usual status of Dr.Bihi, even though my surname is a unique one which would do the medical field justice *wink*.

I ended up studying ‘science’ related course and I have become a medical radiation/radiotherapy graduate. A university course which ¾ of you might never heard off before. Just to save you the Google search, it’s a specialized method of treatment for cancer patients using radioactive material. So yeah if you ever hear the word radiography, we don’t work in radio stations or have anything to do with radio shows.

Today I have a degree under my belt, of which I can call one of the most intriguing courses one can ever embark on. Highly specialized and valued in the medical field. However, I’m yet to feel that I can do something more substantial with it. I don’t mean taking masters or PhD to do it justice; is just that I don’t want to shackle myself with 9am to 5pm job which I would be far too consumed with how to secure a comfortable lifestyle and ways to go up the ladder. It encourages individualistic approach to life. I’m for the thought that says you don’t live for yourself, you live for the sake of others, or else what’s the value of living with others if you're no use to them?

I’m so eager to be the first to bring radiotherapy services to Somalia. Many die due to cancer and half of them they don’t get the right diagnosis because there isn’t good medical infrastructure in Somalia. I want to be the first to mobilize this side of medical specialist and why not? What’s stopping me?

I and my dear father would sometimes debate on the above point. His argument is that, I need to build myself and future in order to bring greater benefit to my people. I totally agree with him but not in this era, today we have the opportunity to challenge ourselves but outside the traditional ways. Having a degree is not everything today and this is something I can talk about at a later date. But why do we have to feel that we need to follow the safest route? Where is the adventurous soul in us? Nothing can shape a person other than going through trial and error, you become more vigilant and stronger than ever before and I rather take this path than be on the safe side and take the usual route.

Alhmduallah, as I speak I can say that I have had the opportunity to see and experience many things just in the past couple of months. Allah is generous and he opened many doors for me, I seek his guidance and he sees my intentions.  Every day I mature a little, I see more and do more and I hope that every little that I treasure is something I can help my people and ummah with.

My degree is waiting for me to use it wisely but for now I dedicate my time and energy for the sake of Somalia's crisis. But regardless, here I’m to embark on a personal challenge.

Life is good!

Baking my heart out!

Like everyone else I have this really bad habit of wanting to do everything I desire but my revision or waiting coursework. When I'm free and have no commitments I don't get inspired to do anything else but to do nothing all day. I'm working on it!

Now that I have exams coming up, I literally want to do everything, including baking cupcakes daily. Insane I know.

Since I have baked the hummingbird cupcakes couple of weeks ago and I have been meaning to make some more. Dear family and friends been on my case ever since. I really want to but the oven in my grandfather's house is not functioning and so I have to bake at my uncle's - 5 mints away!

Next week we will have picnic inshallah, I plan on making some then. I'm just thinking whether to make the same red velvet cupcake or fudge cupcakes. Eeek, I'm just too excited. I hope the weather stays pleasant at this week.

It's a reality dream

There is no harm in dreaming. It’s actually a beautiful subconscious thought which are instigated by things we need to complete in our life. Things which we think of as the ideal lifestyle. I have always known that there is no way that I will spend the rest of my life in England. I’m a nomad by nature and living in an entirely industrialised city which is polluted with hefty air and grumpy faces is not what I aspire to. I need to live in a country, city or town which is rich with culture, soulful people and beautiful scenery. Africa it’s for sure, perhaps my beloved country. But till it rest in peace I shall look for a nearby second home, similar in characteristics and spirit.

I want to wake up every morning to the dew on my window and be able to wipe it with my bare hand and have the first glimpse of the sunrise sight. See the dust mount the horizon at distant while my lung get filled with the whiff of the freshly baked bread I make and the authentic coffee. I want to have a massive cottage house which is generous with rooms for me and my family and guests. In my house the furniture will be kept bright and minimal. The large French windows will be draped with sight pleasing curtains that allows the shy sunrays to summon the  house with happiness and mirth. 

Each room will have a character of its own. One of those rooms will be the family study room. Mini library if you wish to call it. It will feel old in age with its oak shelves and brown leather arm chairs. Catalogues of old books will fill the shelves like a set of dominos. Each book will be there to feed the soul and mind of my family.

Out on the soil I will force myself to be a keen gardener at least for the sake of my flowers which I plan to invest some time in so that I have flowers which will beautify my kitchen table and every corner of my house. On the other side I will plant organic vegetables of all sorts. I won’t feed my household other than what my sweat and long days under the sun yields.

Time for all those who are around me, family, neighbours and my community. Once a week I will tutor the less fortunate neighbour’s children and volunteer at the local school and hospital and be of any assistance they might require.

Every weekend is neighbours, friends and relative gathering in my garden. Where we will fill the silence with laughter and the delicious smell of the sizzling BBQ. The children will run with bare foot around and amuse us with their giggles untill the sunsets.

Installing the sense of taking and giving back to the community in my family is paramount to me. After all what are we but a replica of one gene, which needs and feels the same.

I want to do so many things inshallah. For example, learning how to sew/knit and teaching the local women so they can make a living out of it. Open an orphanage or a charity and dedicate my spare time for the less fortunate. I want to enforce women right and educate the upcoming generation. I want to install courage, freedom, love and peace in others so that I can draw from it too and together grow stronger.

When it comes to this kind of moments, I only realise how tough it’s to achieve your dreams, regardless to how realistic it is. What I know is that one day I will be blessed with a beautiful family and beautiful surrounding. When and where, only god knows and for now I will keep dreaming and working towards it.

Just a moment!

I'm in this beautiful indescribable mood. I don't know what instigated it, exactly like other things in my life. I have so many questions in my head right this mint tho. It might sound awkward listing out but I will do it:

- How would I be feeling like next week same time, 15 hours before my thesis hand in time?
- Why do I feel like flying when I'm wearing pimpsoles and my steps on the ground feel light as feather?
- When will I reach a point where I would NOT care about other people's opinions?
- Where would I be in 12 months time and what will be new in my life?


ps: look at the photo below and ponder, in less than 5 mint, you would feel beautiful inside.

                            

What if?

Yes, what if I was on my deathbed, how significant everything around me would be? I had a little taster just less than 5 months ago when my beloved grandmother was fighting for her life. It was such unbearable feeling of total loss of control on my life and the will to do anything. Seeing my family and relatives congregate around the hospital’s corridor, each in his own world, praying, pleading and wishing for the best; are all moments I will never forget.

During that time, I was absolutely careless about my daily chores, university and clinical placement. I was oblivious to any deadlines, or appointment I would’ve made weeks or days earlier. All I was thinking about was my grandmother; would she make it out safe? Would her heart beat for a little longer and would she gain conscious so I can tell her, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you had the heart attack? I’m sorry I wasn’t there with the family on the second day of Eid. I’m sorry that I didn’t sit with you a little longer the day before. I’m sorry.

For two weeks we received a mixture of both good and bad news, one day they say, she will be better and other that her organs are slowly letting her down and stopping to function. Between each feedback from the rotating doctors I would sit on scattered hospital’s chairs, changing each chair every 10 minutes; sometimes going out for a fresh air and trying to defocus from all the negative omens. It’s then when I would remember last time I sat with her.

It was on the first day of Eid and we were all at my uncle’s house. Family gathered, kids so happy and cheerful. The giggles and laughter are heard in each room. The girls were getting the dinner ready and it was only me out of all the family's girls who was sitting with my grandmother, mother, my grandmother’s sister in one of the rooms. I was sitting opposite to my grandmother, almost 1 meter gap between us. She was as elegant as always; this time she was wearing a full green Somali diric and looked so radiant. My eyes wouldn't stop looking at her and listening to her stories... but this time something else possessed me to not leave her sight. I was fixed for more than 15 minutes just looking at her, her words still echos in my ears, her smile I will never forget. It was as if some part of me knew that this was my last chance and I should make the most of it. This was the last time I sat with her and enjoyed her company.

Now she is gone and I pray that she is resting in peace inshallah.

What brings me to write about this today is my need to tell myself to not give myself hard times. My university workload and my will to give up sometimes, makes me think as to why I overstress about all worldly matters? What if I was on my deathbed, would I really care?

I haven’t seen my siblings for a very long time, I don’t get to speak to my parents as often as I would like to. I worry about my last year of university and how much I need to please myself and my parents with a degree. Days pass by and I don’t enjoy it as much I would love to, because I prioritise things. I’m honestly counting the days till I graduate and the icing on the cake would be me landing on a dream job.

I do realise that all this would be worth it at the end, all the time I didn’t get to spend with my loved ones, will come in the form of a degree gift wrapped in a beautiful graduation gown, plus a permanent planted smile on my face.

This will be for my grandmother I will make her proud and I will see her smile through my grandfather and through my parents. I shall draw inspiration from her to continue and grow strong. I will make her proud to be her first grandchildren who graduates.

To the woman who deserves it all, to you ayeeyo (grandmother)!

A piece of my heart for you, my friends!

Despite what I’m going through at the moment and what I have been through in the past couple months, I’m still counting my blessings. I tend to ponder a lot on little things in my life that means so much to me. Things such as a friend’s gesture to help when I’m going through tough times; perhaps a positive talk as a booster by my parents or even an effort to make me happy by someone dear to me when I’m feeling down.

I have lost count of the number of times I had actually felt content, absolutely content with my circle of friends. I’m so fortunate to have a bunch of diverse, strong, caring, loving, passionate and supportive friends in my humble life.  The circle is getting bigger and better as I stumble across new individuals every now and then. some of you we still getting to know each other and other's already settled in my heart and mind. It actually makes me wonder if I’m giving anything in return. For now all I know is that I love them all and you know who you’re; because one way or another I must’ve told you that I love you or soon you hear it because you deserve it.  

For us friends!

Your facial expression

Lately I have become so obsessed with facial expressions and body language. Well I’ve always been and I’ve always judged people by their expressions. I think I can read people’s feelings through how they express themselves both bodily and facially. Surely everyone can figure out the basic expressions; like differentiating between an angry and a happy face.

I find it more fascinating when I analyse someone’s face and instantly ask them what’s wrong with them and their answer matches my own thoughts. I believe this is a valuable skill to have. But you know what? Sometimes I over read it and it worries me to approach someone because I know what they would say. I wonder most of the time if I would have the right response to elevate some of their burden or even share their happiness when I’m in awful mood.

It was only a month ago when I was commuting with friends on the bus and I realised this middle aged white man looking at me abstractedly. It throw me away for a couple of seconds; especially when he couldn’t get his eyes off us. I let it pass and I didn’t comment but then he initiated a conversation. He said without any prior greeting ‘wow, do you know how many facial expressions you guys have made in the past 5 minutes?’ – Now, at this point I actually laughed. Firstly, he was a stranger conversing with us about our facial expressions and secondly he was confident enough to expect a reply from us. We could’ve easily pretended that he was perving on us.

I with my curious nature continued the conversation with him and we talked for a long time, mind you everyone on the bus was stunned at the depth of our conversation and I can see people’s eyes on us. Regardless, I found the conversation even more intriguing since then.

I’m also growing fond of photographs of facial expressions & portraits, especially B&W. Everything about it; the smallest of details makes me appreciate every muscle in our face and its capability.

truly a photograph can tell a story

I don't even know who he is but god, do I love the expression?!

This another clip a friend share with me, love it.

I sometimes can't wait to age with time, to see my face changing and telling my story and journey, it's truly a pleasure to witness it with my own eyes. Things should be left to change and no one should tamper with nature.

Behind the Scenes

Is it your face
that adorns the garden?

Is it your fragrance
that intoxicates this garden?

Is it your spirit
that has made this brook
a river of wine?

Hundreds have looked for you
and died searching
in this garden
where you hide behind the scenes.

But this pain is not for those
who come as lovers.

You are easy to find here.

You are in the breeze
and in this river of wine.

- Rumi

Me encanta España

I and my friends went through a phase where we would go to the cinema and watch whatever movie is on the list; just simply pick one without checking the review or even the trailer. Our victim movie that night was Vicky Christina, Barcelona. I think we were the victims. How? Well ...!

How can we get caught in a movie that half of it contains sexual references. We would unconsciously gaze down whenever a scene comes along. Secretively we would laugh at each other and at times giggle silently at our stupid mistake … why don’t we check before hand?! Anyways lesson is still being learnt.

PS: storyline was ridiculous, beyond ridiculous!

But one thing I love about this movie was the beautiful introduction it created to Barcelona – Spain. How I love that country and its language. I must admit till today I aim to learn Spanish one day. I think it’s a dead easy language to learn and I can speak Arabic which could make words far too easy to pick up and learn.

So in this movie everything was dreamy, of course apart from what I have mentioned earlier. The beautiful scenery of Spain and the guitar melody, it was a bit touchy, leaves you feeling all mushy. It teleports you to this other place where everything seems and feels gorgeous.

This is one of my favourite scenes –

I think this was during the phase where I was quite curious to learn about Spain’s history and especially the Islamic civilisation and Andalusia, so no wonder why this movie fitted in perfectly location-wise.  

Obviously Javier Bardem had a share in this whole special love *winks* but on a serious note, I think he is a great actor and even in his role in his last film Eat Pray Love was amazing.

Lastly, the beautiful Dee aka Ikran aka Deeqa reignited my love for Spain, ever since she moved there to study. <3

I always remember you!

Reminiscing Ramadan, the holly month where our soul ponders over what we have done the past whole year. This nasheed and highly produced clip by Shiekh Mishary Al-Afasy cuts it for me. The melody sometimes brings tears to my eyes and of course the lyrics do its part to trigger it.

This coming Ramadan I don’t think it will be the same, grandmother won’t be with us. We’re one down and all I wish is that her soul is granted Janaat Al-Fardous inshallah, I hope she is resting in peace and she can hear our prayers. Ameen!   

Ramadan is all about gathering with your family and retying the broken strings, to feel like you’ve your souls have intertwined with love and care.

Just as I type, I received a text message from a number which is not saved on my phone “My father’s brother passed away last night, please make dua’a for him and for us and for all the ummah” .. Subhanallah.

You never know when your loved ones are due to let go of the world. Do yourself a favour now so that you don’t regret it later for not being there for them

Peace & blessings

Counting down...!

It feels like a beautiful spring morning today. The breeze is gently caressing my cheeks and it almost feels like I'm smelling the scent of the blossoming flowers. I think the smell is coming from my sister’s hijab which I’m wearing now. She has collections of perfumes and even though I love perfumes I avoid wearing it when I go outside.

Anything that smells beautiful triggers my memory to beautiful spring or summer days and if this is complimented by any melody that just lifts my mood and makes me bask on cloud 9. Well this how I feel now, despite the fact I’m at the library and I’m doing my methodology to my thesis. What a great way to start the day <3

I’m counting down till it’s march and it’s spring. 25 days to till March and then one more month and it will be my birthday. I love the fact I was born in spring. I’m counting down…!

Craving all things red

Yes that’s right. It has been months now since I first craved having anything red to wear and the need only grew stronger in me. It could be a new red hijab, bag, shoes or maybe just maybe red lipstick *thinks twice*.

        

Red is a very bold colour and a strong statement to anyone who dares to wear it. It just flashes many labels like ‘strong personality’, ‘confident’, ‘brave’…! For me it was a mere cravings and I doubt till now that I have the bold personality to actually wear one; especially a red lipstick.

It was only when I saw a picture of a friend (Shamsa) that my cravings were triggered immediately. She looked absolutely stunning, mashallah!

I and my friend decided to pay a visit to MAC where it holds my favourite and most suitable make-up. We had one thing in mind, which was to try the red lipstick. I wont lie I looked unsightly but my friend insisted that it looked good and all I need is full make-up for it to look perfect.

Red Satin

In my own humble opinion I think not everyone can pull this colour and not every skin complexion can compliment this colour very well. Even though I own a caramel complexion it didn’t suit me much. But I tell you what suits me:



Media Satin




Yes it’s the MAC range of intense reddish-purple (Satin). I have always loved the colour maroon. It suits be perfectly but it’s not something I would wear publically, only in parties.

I think my cravings to all red are slowly dying… HELP!



Fashionista...!

I’m defiantly not a fashionista but I can assure you my two best friends are. I’m actually fortunate to have them in my life or else I would be a tomboy... hmm, maybe not! lol

But on a serious note, they are by far more creative and open to try new things and create their own style … like who wears converses with Moroccan Kiftan? Only my friend would do it and she knows how to pull it off with confidence.

All a side, I have noticed a growing number of new generation of Muslim fashionistas, all competing to make their statement of fashion while having their hijabs (scarf) beautifully wrapped around their heads. Some of them hold my breath at the first glance, I would be ecstatic to see them looking stunningly hijabed up. I would usually be thinking like ‘omg, isn’t she beautiful and yet proud to have her hijab on’!

Obviously wearing hijab and being fashion addict will always be a hard thing to juggle at the same time. You would be thinking if what you wear is modest enough, are you actually giving the hijab the title it deserves or are you disrespect it? … and ultimately not representing the hijabis who are very fond of their hijabs and what it represent and stands for. I can almost imagine it as if it is walking on a hot coal and only tip toeing around matters.  

Whatever it might be, this is a big responsibility especially for those who design or portray themselves as the 21^st century Muslimah, and be careful ladies!  

But I like www.hijabscarf.blogspot.com collection, why can’t it be as simple as that?!

Blessing in disguise

Since I woke up this morning and I have been feeling awesomely energetic. I don’t know whether it was due to the little trip I have planned with the ladies or just the mere fact that I was going to see their beautiful faces; either ways I was and still happy.

It was going to be a quick catch up and we decided to meet in central London, where the buzz of the city at. We first decided to either go to MoMos (North African café) or just have a chit chat at Starbucks. But fate decided otherwise and we ended up in Yumchaa a little gem, dear Leyla has suggested.

The idea of going to herbal tea shop was quite daunting at the beginning. I was anxious that our little gathering will be spoiled by a tasteless and expensive, flavoured hot water. I was wrong, very wrong!

Mango Rise flavoured tea  & the ripples of <3



Macaroons <3 <3 <3



The whole vintage atmosphere and recycled furniture has given the room a warm feeling and extra edge to it. It’s beautiful knowing that what you use is environmentally friendly and everything you eat is organic. Guilt free! I think since I have took the initiative to slowly cut down on branded cafés I have become attracted to little gems like Yumchaa <3

Obviously the day wouldn’t have been great with out my ladies, the two Sagals. We have laughed our hearts out and made this Sunday another memorable one.

          




I want this wallpaper on my room's wall  too     

 

After we left Yumchaa, we ate some waffles as we strolled the streets of W1 and ended up going to Mamas & Papas and this where the drama started. Even before we stepped in Sagal went all broody on us … it is normal because she totally falls in  love when it comes to children. She will be a great mother no doubts and my babysitter and the funniest aunty they can ever have.  



         

        

I wont lie, I felt broody too, but it just goes against what I feel towards children and how annoying they can be..!

I miss spring

The path of mossy ground nestled
In between maternal hedgerows,
That overgrew atop, dimming out
The brilliance of the day.
Embosomed, a calm-cool vision –
Abstract takes of nature, in
Leaf-spattered green shades;
Stem-speckled brown hues;
Shards of sunlight percolating
Through the random flaws to
Up glittering sprites upon the leaves..!

- Mark R Slaughter

Can X and O tie the knot?

I like to debate a lot especially on things that I have strong beliefs on or things which I’m so passionate about. This includes my view on interracial marriages and I know where my feet are rooted.  

From a young age and I'm open to new ideas and anything which provoks my mind. When the topic of marriage surfaces in any conversation I like to know what's the other person views on interacial marriages? I always rooted for it and even thought is best to marry outside my cast, country or even race. I was very naïve, very naïve. I looked at the world with its fully blown rosy perspective.

                    

To cut a long story short, I was pro interracial marriages till I changed my mind 180 degrees. Don’t get me wrong, it’s such a beautiful thing to mix races and different backgrounds into one unique marriage. Especially when it’s evident that it eliminates many negative aspects such as racism, prejudice & stereotypes. I also understand that everything has its pros and cons but with such sensitive topic I have come to the conclusions that its cons outweighs its pros. How?

Well we all know that normal marriage has its own problems and there are far too many hurdles to overcome. But when someone takes the well to marry from someone with a complete mindset and who holds different beliefs whether it is culture or religion based then it’s a different story. Not only both couple would need to overcome their own marriage problems but also a host of other issues they might have been oblivious too.

Such couples usually tie the knot under the name of love and because they complete each other, which is fair. But during their pre-marriage period I can bet all they thought about is how marvellous their interacial marriage is going to be and how cute their X & O children are going to be. It's usually the younger generation who fall in this trap.

What they don’t understand is that you not only marrying an individual, you also marrying his/her family, culture, country and even religion if they’re not from similar religious background. This is where difficulties arise  because you need to have a balance in everything you do in the future. Ever thought that your traditional outfit might spark a problem in your wedding night?

Of course other issues that worry me the most are the children of those who racially inter-marry each other. Would they ever have identity crisis? if yes, who's fault is it?

You might think I’m exaggerating but all I know is that it takes two strong individuals to take on this type of journey. It takes two open minded family in law. It takes couples who are neutral from any cultural prejudice. It takes a welcoming society. It takes two couples who absolutely adopt their religion [Islam] as a way of life. Only then all my assumptions will go down the drain. But do every two who marry interracially have all it takes? No. If they do are all these qualities all controllable? No. Which is why three quarter of these marriage are not successful. I think it only works with Muslim reverts because they’re totally out of the box. They’re neutral.

I would rather marry someone who is Somali; who understands me and values me; someone who would appreciate our culture and language, someone who would have the same interest as me for our future off-spring.

I admire every X and O who make through this together, they’re a source of inspiration. I encourage those who think they have what it takes to make a grass root changes in their society. I get demoralised when I see those who marry each other blindly and end up picking up the shattred dreams of their broken marriage.

Rageh Omaar & us!

So last night I and my Elays team were privileged to meet the notorious Rageh Omaar. A simple guy who captivates you with the magic of his words and mind. Rageh is a journalist who shone in his career; he worked for the BBC and recently joined Al-Jazeera News Channel.

Rageh came to support Elays role in the community as a youth group who aim to inspire, empower and build other youth in their communities.

What intrigued me the most about him is his unfussiness with how he looks, acts or even talks in front strangers like us, who only just met him for the first time. He took a seat and immediately acted like he was in the comfort of his own house. He apologised for being late and he wore the startling smile of his. It made me feel more relaxed and geared up to absolutely give my 5 senses the full attention to what he got to say. He inspired us by giving a brief introduction about his life; from the day he was born until this day. Then we had a Q&A session where we discussed various topics, from his life, his view in politics, Somalia, community, youth and what can be done to improve the stereotypical misconceptions about youth in general.

All I know is that time went by so quickly, it almost felt like we only been there for an hour. Nevertheless we covered a lot of things and we were fuelled with a whole lot of enthusiasm, passion, self-assurance to go out there and do more for the youth.

Then *drum rolls* it was photography time. The guy is absolutely photogenic and his smile is a million dollar one. It just comes naturally to him. I really don’t know if this is because he is used to taking endless photographs with the public or it’s just natural. Either ways he looked awesome in all his photos with Elays apart from mine. My turn came and it was the moment I was waiting for. What I didn’t realise is how I looked, mind you I’m totally fussy with my photos. It seemed like I had double chin, Hijab not fixed in the way I like it either. After the photograph was taken I checked it and Oh My God it looked like a mug shot photograph. I’m not exaggerating even if you don’t agree with me (to those who’ve seen it). I was disappointed and of course I wont share it here *smirky face*  

But but but what I will share is his photograph holding Elmi Magazine. The magazine I edit along side with Sadiya and Mahmoud; my co-editors. I tell you looking at this photograph it gives me the oomph to do a much better 3^rd edition of Elmi Magazine Inshallah.

Rageh Omaar

                   

Ps: if you want a copy of the magazine, contact me.

The key to my escape is a simple smile

When I’m constantly shadowed by my stress triggering lifestyle it’s quite hard to reminisce on things that once made me smile. I’m a very simple person inside, very simple. Little things can make me enormously happy. The one thing that never fails me is the rays of the golden ball. My mood can instantly change from an awful to a cheerful and jolly one. Regardless of the process, all I know is that I need to move out of this country. Britain as much as it seems like everyone’s dream destination, a train away from Paris and a plane away from the rest of Europe; it’s not the case for me. I need sun, I need to escape from the 9 to 5 routine, I need to be free and enjoy what life got in store for me. But I will continue smiling in a hope that one day I will get what my heart, soul and mind desires.

Brain on standby!

I’m literally waiting for ideas to trickle down in my brain. I’ve been sitting here for more than 4 hours. I don’t have as many distractions as I would usually have. Here I’m in a big office with a cosy atmosphere. In less than 48 hours I’m required to present a presentation on role conflict in inter-professional healthcare. I have all the materials I need from scattered journals to text books. I even thought some food may stimulate my brain cells. But no LUCK! 

I’ve realised that I work best under immense pressure. It’s almost as if my brain cells are being squeezed like a lemon. I can promise you tomorrow, same time I will be furiously typing on my laptop. I wont even have a second to spare … I lied, maybe a second or two to tweet! : )  

 

I think I should get off now … wish me sleek mayhem tomorrow.  

The 3 musketeers’

Who? Yes, us the three musketeers. Moi, Hiba and Hanaa. Isn’t it so sweet to have friends who you share the same initial with?!

It was on the 4^th of Jan when Hanaa text me with “girls do you want to go to China Town on Thursday?”  I instantly texted back with “I’m on it. Sounds fantabloussssss!”… However I only realised after that the message wasn’t delivered. Such a mood killer but hey she got it afterwards. Guess what? I have been in London for nearly 10 years and I haven’t stepped a foot in China Town ever *gasps*.

Knowing that I went out the night before with the beautiful Sagal and Amal, I was guilt conscious about the time I’m spending on socialising. Mind you I have a long to-do-list for my university deadlines. But this was a must or else I won’t be part of the musketeers.

It was a cold, wet and gloomy day and anyone with their right mind would rather stay in the comfort of their own house. I battled my temptation to stay home and wrapped up with my newly bought jacket, I was wholly hugged by it. I caught the bus and luckily my commuting was smooth. Hiba & Hanaa were in their way to Piccadilly Circus to meet me there and as predicted they got there before me. I got of the bus and after several attempts to explain where I’m exactly I met them as they were wearing the prettiest smile in such weather.

I tweeted about my location and asked if there’re any recommendation as to where is best to eat and checkout in China Town, but it seemed not a lot of my London follower’s are familiar with this location. Except of course Miss WaAniga; who declared China Town as her favourite place.

In route to China Town we popped in Costa, I had to drink something hot. My feet were about to go numb in the so un-cosy wellington boots I bought recently. I feel guilty because I promised myself to not drink from branded café.

We’re in China Town and all I can smell is roasted or fried duck or I assumed it to be. It actually felt like I was a tourist in China. The place is dominated by restaurants I think the Chinese are foodies. Can you believe that everything is nearly written in Mandarin? Even HSBC Bank. Walaaaaaa! I even got myself their newspaper in hope to learn a word or two.

Checked many Chinese corner shops and we were fascinated by it. Of course as we roamed the area I snapped couple of photos and the iphoneography challenge was in mind. Here are couple photos!

Then it was about time we search for Halal Chinese restaurant. But we failed miserably. Quoting Hanaa ‘Omg I can’t believe this. We’re in cosmopolitan London and in China Town there are no Halal restaurants!!!’ .. We even asked the corner shop keeper if there is any and bless her, she pronounced halal like a Muslim!

So I suggested Vapiano. Don’t judge me it was only around the corner and I promised to take them one day. I guess I had to hit two birds with one stone. The experience was a great one and as usual I took more pics. Eeeeeek!